parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
clock: 11:01
me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now

intensional:

i use the word fuck so excessively i sometimes forget it’s a swear word

sirlightbulb:

Do you ever just see the first sentence of a text message and just think “oh fuck no I do not have time for this shit”

s4mm4n:

Me at the shipping fee to Australia for one item.

s4mm4n:

Me at the shipping fee to Australia for one item.

hugepoppa:

jehovahs:

I fell asleep with my butt plug in and I woke up and I was like ‘shit where is it’ and the entire thing was in my ass like byeeee

image

plasticbagvevo:

plasticbagvevo:

lady gaga? why not gentleman gaga? end racism now!

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chraystmaseve:

omgoswin:

kylesbogusjourney:

Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex.

Female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer.

Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.

 #OOOO FUCKING OWND YOU GOT FUCKING SLAM DUNKED SON YOU’RE GONNA NEED LIKE TEN FEDORAS TO COVER THAT BRUISE FUCKNUTS

The Front Bottoms - Peach
7,611 plays

canibeyrdeadbeatgirlfriend:

The Front Bottoms | Peach

Once I sink my teeth, your skin’s not so tough
I’ll leave a tiny cut, there’ll be a lot of blood
But once you wipe it up
You will feel better about our entire situation

dannerzz:

okay josh

whoredinarygirl:

literally

whoredinarygirl:

literally